


wanna spill my GUTS

by nascar



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Homophobia, Lacrosse, M/M, Making Out, Miscommunication, Underage Drug Use, dont trip theyre just dumby hs boys, jock bfs mh, mark is confused & hyuck is a whore!, mentions of hyuck/male character(s), step brothers jaemark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-11-16 08:14:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18090704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nascar/pseuds/nascar
Summary: The second day into his senior year, Mark makes a list. Scrappily labeled “How to Not Fall In Love With Lee Donghyuck.” In retrospect, he realizes that the list was counterproductive in every sense of the word. In Seventh grade at lacrosse camp, he’d been cross-checked by five feet and one-hundred lbs of unyielding boy. He’d been in love with Lee Donghyuck before he’d even hit the ground.The list goes like this anyways:





	wanna spill my GUTS

**Author's Note:**

> this was supposed to be 1.5k

 

The second day into his senior year, Mark makes a list. Scrappily labeled “How to Not Fall In Love With Lee Donghyuck.” In retrospect, he realizes that the list was counterproductive in every sense of the word. In Seventh grade at lacrosse camp, he’d been cross-checked by five feet and one-hundred lbs of unyielding  _ boy.  _ He’d been in love with Lee Donghyuck before he’d even hit the ground. 

 

The list goes like this anyways: 

 

  * DON’T SHOW WEAKNESS. HE CAN SMELL FEAR
  * stop doing his AP enviro homework for him. Mr Wright knows it’s your handwriting anyways
  * do NOT roll blunts for him. It’s like… an indirect kiss! also you’re TEAM CAPTAIN
  * at least pretend like you don’t like it when he drools on your shoulder
  * stop letting him drool on your shoulder 
  * stop checking the track roster for people he’s probably fooling around with. you already know it’s everyone except jisung park (bless jisung park)
  * stop listening to na jaemin just because he’s in AP psych doesn’t make him an actual psychiatrist
  * god just dont look at his legs
  * dont look at his mouth when he talks itll make u want to listen more
  * at least be mildly offended when every teacher assumes you know where he is when he’s not in class
  * stop thinking about licking the sweat off his neck at practice, that’s gross, even for _you_



 

The summer of freshman year Donghyuck works his ass off for varsity. When he’s not napping in the kiddie pool he’s practicing between Mark and Jeno Lee, another attacker on the team. He’s passionate about it. Passionate because he  _ hates  _ handouts. His best friend being the varsity captain was sure to tip the scales but he detested that, denounced it. He ordered that his try out be assessed by the coach only. 

 

Of course he makes midfielder. He’s selfless and scrappy. He’s angry in the way that gets Eric Sohn’s nose broken during last scrimmage, and his legs are  _ hot _ . Hot in the mouth drying way. Not that it means anything. 

 

Na Jaemin was right. Mark is into Donghyuck. In the sexy way. In other ways too though, like ways that make him want to buy him a card or something. So, he’s inexperienced, so what? It’s not that like that’s ever stopped anyone from True Love. Except for that he’s not exactly sure that it’s true love, with Donghyuck. 

 

He’s not sure if it’s Donghyuck he loves, or the way he cross checks Jeno straight into the X. Or at least that’s what he tells himself. 

  
  
  
  


He’s walking home from his last club meeting of the day when  _ he  _ happens. 

 

“O’ Captain, my Captain!” Donghyuck grouses from somewhere behind Mark. Damn Whitman. It’s not like Donghyuck actually pays attention in AP lit for any other reason than kissing Wong Yukhei’s ass with his extensive poetic knowledge. Perks of fucking the TA? Not that they’re fucking, at least Mark  _ hopes _ they aren’t. It’s probably something close to it.

 

“What do you want Donghyuck? I thought canceling practice would be enough to get you out of my hair this afternoon.” 

 

Check  _ Mate _ . 

 

It’s a little self-destructive the way Mark gets off on sweeping Donghyuck off his feet, keeping him on his toes. Except Donghyuck isn’t their high school’s best midfielder since, probably the history of ever, for nothing because he bounces right back up. 

 

“Word?” He has one eyebrow raised like he knows just exactly what Mark’s playing at. “Can’t I talk to my favorite captain? Is it so hard to believe? That I, a humble student, would want to talk to our school’s great infamous star Mark fucking Lee, or are you not taking autographs right now?”

 

He’s getting back at Mark for something, nothing serious, but Mark can tell he’s unsettled. He’s imploding over it though and Mark is going to fucking let him, by God he’ll let him. 

 

There’s only so much tag you’re it that Mark can play. He turns around. 

 

“See you tonight, Hyuck.”

  
  
  
  
  


Mark soon learns that the Lee Donghyuck Influence spreads far and wide over the lands, and not only just his rampant imagination. He also learns that Wong Yukhei is a track boy, a fact Donghyuck has  _ conveniently _ left out of their conversations about him. 

 

If there’s a medal for most track boys kissed, Donghyuck should own it. He’s obsessed. He has them racked up,  _ collected. _ Has a sweet tooth for them.  

 

So it shouldn’t come as a surprise, no it  _ really  _ shouldn’t, when he finds Donghyuck at the after party, shirt undone and some  _ track  _ boy’s hand up his chest.  

 

He’s a little upset sure, this was  _ their _ night. They’d just won the last game of the season. Not with much help from Donghyuck who had conveniently cost them a penalty. He maybe had punched someone who slashed him,  _ hard.  _ Mark heard the whip of crosse against flesh and then the next thing he knew there was a gross crunch resounding throughout the field. 

 

Opposing Team #11’s nose: 0

Lee Donghyuck: 1

 

Donghyuck was benched and the next thing they knew they had to  _ fight  _ for that field. Without Donghyuck’s quick work there was mostly damage control. The best they could do was defend their goal and the points Donghyuck had scored. Mark and Jeno held their own just fine but the bench was empty besides Donghyuck, they couldn’t afford a single blow out.

 

Still, they  _ won.  _ They won rough, dirty, and no time on the clock. It was like a buzzing anthem under Mark’s skin. His last game as captain and they  _ won.  _

 

So maybe he’s upset that he can’t share it with Donghyuck. So what? Tough break. 

 

He doesn’t even know what the fuck he wants anymore. 

 

Maybe the track boy is another way of getting back at Mark, who knows. Who fucking knows. The point is, Mark isn’t here to play tug-of-war with Donghyuck’s ego again. He’s here to celebrate. 

 

And celebrate he does. 

 

He doesn’t remember what he drinks, other than that the strawberry vodka wasn’t cutting it, (it tasted like Donghyuck’s pipedream, anyways and something  _ raw _ ) so he downed something that  _ kicked.  _ What he does remember is falling onto the couch with  _ someone  _ small and flighty. Someone who bit hard and kissed soft, and tasted like snickers. 

 

He took his heart off the field for a moment and let himself  _ like  _ this. Let himself  _ like  _ that this wasn’t Donghyuck. His angry, confusing,  _ sweetheart  _ Donghyuck. 

 

But when he finds himself in an empty bedroom, skin to skin with this other person, it tastes like blasphemy. 

 

And when he catches Donghyuck’s eye after leaving the room, it feels like regret. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


Donghyuck doesn’t talk to Mark for the rest of the month. Mark doesn’t care. If Donghyuck isn’t going to talk to him then so fucking what? He wins! He fucking wins! Mark can keep his space. Yeah, he can keep his space. 

 

He can keep his space when Donghyuck’s eyes are red when he comes to practice,  _ track boys.  _ Mark can keep his space when Donghyuck runs the plays like he’s supposed to, no glamor. He can keep his space when Donghyuck’s wearing a t-shirt that very obviously isn’t his. When the vulnerable back of his neck is showing and the hem hangs over his basketball shorts the way Mark  _ likes _ . 

 

Donghyuck stays away though. He doesn’t speak during practice, doesn’t tag along for Mark’s walk home. He’s gone static, radio silence. And Mark is tuned way in. He’s got the space game down pat. 

 

Except that he doesn’t want to play the space game. He  _ wants _ to ask Donghyuck to homecoming, he wants to look up at his window when he walks home. He still wants to buy him a fucking card. He just wants to be anyone else than who he is now because surely he’d have a better chance as a track boy. 

 

The worst part it? It’s not even a proper fight. Like Mark isn’t even worth the punch, straight to the jugular and squashing down on his heart. He’d prefer it. Oh, call him a romantic (or desperate,  _ god  _ he’s desperate) but even a punch to the face would feel better than this– nothing. 

 

Mark doesn’t even see Yukhei around anymore. He wonders if he and Donghyuck are still– fooling around. He wonders if Yukhei is what Donghyuck wants. He seems right for the job, tall, handsome, mutable. He’s the type of boy Donghyuck could have his way with, four rounds in the ringer and not break a sweat. 

 

Mark though? Mark is anything but. He’s wiry, confused, and stubborn to a fault. He’s thick headed he knows this, he’s lives this. A boy like Mark could never keep up with two-steps-ahead-Donghyuck. But God how he’d like to. 

 

On Monday night he dreams about Donghyuck. It’s a weird dream that makes him wake up sticky, uncomfortable and scared. He doesn’t remember most of it but he stays home Tuesday to shovel the weight off. It doesn’t really go away though, not even when he’s doing his AP comparative homework he got off of Jeno. Something about Donghyuck’s skin and rational-legal legitimacy doesn’t combine well in his stomach. 

  
  
  
  
  


“He misses you,” Jeno says in a rare bout of humanity. They’re working the graveyard shift Wednesday night at the drive-in theatre. There are worse places to work than the concessions and it pays well enough for a seasonal job so Mark doesn’t complain. Plus free skittles (they’re not free, but there was no telling Jeno no to these kinds of things.)

 

Ironically enough, (painfully, the word is painfully.) Donghyuck chooses exactly that time to show up with Huang Renjun, a senior that Mark knows from calc. He doesn’t know much about him other than that he can hold his own in debate and pitches for the baseball team. 

 

The air goes electric at that moment and Mark waits for something to snap. Only nothing does, and it’s normal. Normal like Donghyuck hasn’t had a whole month to ignore Mark and then rub every boy in his face like some kind of trophy show. Renjun is polite, civil. He makes small conversation with Jeno while Mark shovels popcorn into a bag and Donghyuck slams a box of Twizzlers down on the counter. 

 

Mark didn’t know that Donghyuck went for boys like Renjun. Nothing against Renjun, he just wasn’t, Donghyuck’s type. 

 

When he takes Donghyuck’s money he finds himself speaking up for the first time in what feels like years. 

 

“Didn’t know you were into baseball boys.” He shoulders the words over the counter, careful to keep quiet enough for just the two of them. 

 

“I swing both ways,” Is what Donghyuck tells him when he grabs Renjun by the hand and drags him off into the night (JAWS - remastered 1975). 

 

Jeno looks guilty. 

 

Later when Mark is taking his fifteen he tries to focus on the sound of Total Shark Attack Terror and not how Donghyuck’s windows are steamed up, but his heart ends up syncopating with the crunch of gory shark feast fest anyways. 

 

He kicks the edge of the concessions building, hard. 

  
  


The thing about Mark and Donghyuck, Donghyuck and Mark, they have history. History that Mark is halfway convinced that is, to a fault, one-sided in chemical makeup. It was the summer of freshman year when Donghyuck was practicing his ass off to make the team. 

 

It’s somewhere between passes and walk’s to Thurman’s Sweet Freeze that Mark realizes he  _ likes  _ Donghyuck. Donghyuck changes, he trades in skinny jeans for basketball shorts that slide up his legs when they sit on the curb. His cheeks melt away slowly until he’s chiseled and his eyes are dangerous. His skin is water soft and this pretty golden color that Mark fixates on until he’s having dreams about  _ biting  _ it. What’s up with that?

 

His voice is deeper too, honey whiskey. Mark likes that. 

 

Na Jaemin comes over on a Saturday that summer, he has weed and Lee Jeno with him and Mark’s parents won’t be home for the next week. Mark’s half brother Jaehyun is probably jacking off in his room or something else equally as brain killing. They have the whole fucking world (Mark’s basement) to themselves. 

 

For some reason, Mark isn’t as affected by pot as he thought he’d be. It’s just chill, floating on his own little cloud of hedonism and Donghyuck’s warm thigh tossed over his lap. He can’t keep his hands to himself like this, his fingers slide up the skin, melting into the warm. He skims over bruises, scars and the softness of behind his knee where his pulse is strongest. 

 

His hands go down to the tops of Donghyuck’s socks then up again until he’s waiting at the hems of his shorts. Some Brockhampton song off of Jaemin’s playlist is playing the background. He can’t remember what the name is but it’s hot, and when he catches Donghyuck’s half-lidded eyes his thumb slips up his shorts to his hip and then they’re kissing. He doesn’t remember much besides warm legs around his waist and  _ Donghyuck _ underneath him, Donghyuck. 

 

If anyone remembers what happens that night, they don’t speak about it. Sometimes Mark wonders if he’s the only one who does remember. Or if Donghyuck just doesn’t like him that way and doesn’t want to relive the thought of kissing Mark. 

 

When he goes to Jaehyun for advice a few weeks into junior year (yeah, he’s desperate.) all he gets is, “Maybe you were just, like, a really bad kisser.” 

He tells Jaehyun he hopes all of his college applications are rejected. (a useless measure, he gets into fucking  _ Yale  _ the next year.)

 

Donghyuck fucking eats boys like Jaehyun up. He’d eat up Jaehyun himself if he wasn’t taken, Mark thinks. 

  
  
  


“Your brother is hot.” Donghyuck says one afternoon, not looking at Mark. He takes the popsicle back into his mouth watching after Jaehyun and it takes all of Mark’s self restraint to not gag. 

 

It’s as if Jaehyun can smell the blood in the water because he turns and waves at Donghyuck with this big wolfish smile. Mark throws his stick into the cup holder in his chair and walks off to find his crosse, he needs to restring it for their first practice tomorrow. 

  
  
  


Donghyuck isn’t at practice today. Jaemin fills in for him and Coach Moon side-eyes Mark when Donghyuck isn’t on roll. Donghyuck used to be the spine of this team, he used to be the spine of Mark fucking Lee, but that whole system is gutted within the last month. 

 

Coach is making cuts this year and Mark knows that he’s starting to see Donghyuck as a liability. Freshman Donghyuck lived for this team, bled and fought to be on this team. And now? Now he’s throwing it all out just to put Mark’s neck on the line. 

  
  
  


**_Mark Lee 11:24am_ **

Where are you? Practice started 30 minutes ago 

 

I can’t keep vouching for you on this team if you aren’t    
going to at least pretend to pull your weight

 

**_Hyuck Lee 11:30am_ **

dont trip 

im sick 

 

**_Mark Lee 11:30am_ **

I asked your mom no you aren’t

Where are you.

 

**_Hyuck Lee 11:40am_ **

what are u a fucking stalker? leave me alone

  
  


Mark is mad. Mad might be an understatement, he’s livid. Donghyuck is different now. He’s so different Mark doesn’t even think he knows how to love this Donghyuck. His Donghyuck is hardworking, passionate, driven. His Donghyuck fights for things he wants and fights to keep them. His Donghyuck is  _ sweet,  _ his sweet Donghyuck. 

 

This new Donghyuck is bitter, fast and bitter. This new Donghyuck is no longer two-steps-ahead-Donghyuck but off the fucking rails. Out of line. He’s spiraling and Mark can’t catch up anymore. Mark is sick of playing catch up. 

 

When he comes home he throws his duffle into the living room without even looking for where it lands. Jaehyun is in the kitchen pouring himself a glass of orange juice. Mark stomps out of the kitchen and down the hall to his room. 

 

“The fuck is  _ your  _ problem?” Jaehyun shouts. 

 

“Bite me!” 

 

He can hear Jaehyun rolling his eyes from behind his slammed door. And that makes him Mad. He’s ripping his shoes off and flinging them at the wall. He’s sick of being confused, sick of running when he needs to stay and staying when he should leave. He’s sick of it all. He’s sick of loving Lee Donghyuck. He’s sick of his stupid crosse stick that he slams into his bed post. Mad at the way it snaps right in half. Because nothing can weather a goddamn storm in this town. Everything is so superficial and temporary. Donghyuck is superficial and temporary. 

 

Why did Mark ever think that that kiss was ever anything more than Donghyuck doing what he does best? Whoring himself out to anything with hands and lips. Of course Mark wasn’t anything but fun to him. Like a cat and a fucking string. He’s mildly disgusted with himself for having that thought but he can’t  _ stop. _

 

He’s glad his mom isn’t home so she doesn’t hear the jagged smash of his lamp when it flies straight into his mirror. Or the toppling of his bookshelf. 

 

He doesn’t get to his guitar though because before he can even reach for it his door is flying open and Jaehyun is asking him what the hell he’s doing. Mark doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing but he sure does want to do more of it.

 

He doesn’t get to though because arms wrap tightly around his arms and he’s dragged, sinking and drowning to the floor. 

 

“Get  _ off. _ ” His voice cracks. 

 

But Jaehyun doesn’t get off because he’s the perfect son. He’s going to make Mark cut the crap and then run to tell mom and dad about how much of a good boy he’s been. 

 

“Mark, stop it!”

 

Mark wants to know what happened to Donghyuck, what happened to the grass stains on Donghyuck’s lacrosse shorts, and the way he looked when they shared a bed, hazy gold spilling through the black because Donghyuck needs to sleep with the door open. 

 

“Mark  _ goddamnit _ tell me what’s wrong!”

 

Does Donghyuck even still sleep with the door open? 

 

Mark is crying now and Jaehyun smells like that deep men’s cologne and lemons. He smells clean and perfect. He’s perfect, and has a perfect girlfriend and goes to a perfect school and has his perfect grades. Mark? Oh well Mark’s a fucking mess. 

 

And it’s all Donghyuck’s fault. What did happen to Perfect Star Lacrosse Attacker Mark Lee?

  
  
  
  
  


When he’s calmed down enough, Jaehyun listens attentively. He nods in the right places and hands Mark a water bottle when his voice cracks embarrassingly. Mark doesn’t know why he’s telling Jaehyun all of this, for all he knows he could be secretly recording this to show to his cool college friends and laugh about later. 

 

Honestly? He’s exhausted the fighting with his brother routine and he’s just, tired. Bone dead. 

 

So he spills all. From that summer at lacrosse camp to the kiss in the basement, to the party and how Donghyuck had rubbed Renjun right in Mark’s face. He even tells him about that embarrassing dream from last week (Jaehyun doesn’t even tease him about it.) 

 

Jaehyun waits until he’s done before he says anything. He breathes in once, deep, and then– he  _ laughs.  _ He laughs and Mark is about to start throwing things again but then Jaehyun says, “No, wait wait.” 

 

He scoots across the floor to sit at Mark’s side and throws an arm around Mark’s shoulder. “You’ve really grown up huh?” He looks thoughtful. “It feels like just last week you were this awkward studyholic boy that I could throw across this room if I wanted– oh and I’ve wanted.” Mark glares. “But it really seems like you’ve got your work cut out for you kid. Donghyuck is kind of out of your depth.” He takes a sip from Mark’s water bottle. 

 

“Yeah.” Mark says, he feels a little defeated, but lighter. 

 

“Tell you what, when I was your age, I kind of went through the same thing. Taeyong wasn’t a firecracker like your little Donghyuck–” 

 

“You liked  _ Taeyong? _ ”

 

“–Let me finish kid. Yes I liked Taeyong. And while he wasn’t as wild as Hyuck, he sure as hell was confusing. I went rounds with that one and I could still never figure out what anything was supposed to mean.”

 

Mark looks up at him, squinting. “Well, what changed?”

 

Jaehyun looks down at him wryly, then he leans in and whispers, “I asked him what he wanted.” 

 

Mark blinks. 

 

Well, yeah. Maybe it was obvious but, seriously? He couldn’t just  _ ask  _ Donghyuck what he wanted. He’d get eaten alive! Fucking eaten alive! He’s seen Donghyuck use his lacrosse stick for many– scary things. He knows he doesn’t want to be on the receiving end of that stick. 

 

Jaehyun seems to know exactly what he’s thinking because he laughs, short and clipped. “I know, it sounds scary, but it’s the best way. Trust me, you’re never going to get anything out of him at this rate. For all you know he’s just as confused as you.”

 

Mark sucks his lip in between his teeth, then releases it with a breath. “I guess, but when? He doesn’t want to talk to me.” 

 

Jaehyun pats him on the shoulder and Mark thinks he likes this Jaehyun more. He’s nicer when he’s honest. “We can figure that out later. How about for now we focus on this room. I’ll help you clean it up and if we’re quick enough we can get a new mirror at IKEA. It’ll be our little secret, just some home improvement if mom asks.” 

 

Mark looks at him in disbelief. “You’re so cool when you aren’t trying to ruin my life.”

 

Jaehyun pulls his arm out and laughs heartily. “For the record Mark. I never hated you. I guess the change when dad married mom was just a lot. I never knew what to do and you always just seemed to go right along just fine, like it didn’t stress you out at all. It pissed me off I guess.” 

 

Mark snaps his head around to look up at him. “Are you fucking kidding me? I was just as lost as you! The whole marriage was a nightmare, I thought figured that if I acted okay with everything then mom wouldn’t feel so guilty.” 

 

As if years of tension dissolve between them and Jaehyun laughs even harder. “God,” Jaehyun says between breaths. “Come on little guy we’ve got a mess to clean up.” 

 

“You’re only two years older!” 

  
  
  


That night when Mark is mulling things over in his head in the dark of his room, he decides he feels better. Not exactly cured of Donghyuck related ailments but he’s at least grateful for Jaehyun. 

 

His mom comes in at around nine to sit by his side and brush his hair out of his face. Mark assumes Jaehyun told her but when he asks she shakes her head and chalks it up to “mommy senses” to which he wrinkles his nose at but accepts her hug. 

 

Everything is settling into place. 

 

Then, at 11:40 he gets a text from Jaehyun that quite honestly puts him back off his axis. 

  
  
  


**_Jae 11:40pm_ **

Hey come get your boy before I show him how to be treated by a real man 

LOL jk but really come here he’s in the kitchen 

 

**_Mark Lee 11:41_ **

HELLO? Dude wtfff!!!! I look like ass rn!!! I’m not ready for this 

 

How’d you even get him to come here he hates me!!!

 

**_Jae 11:41_ **

Dude get out here ASAP he’s staring at me    
why do u always fall for the crazy ones 

 

He’s kind of cute though… 

  
  
  


Mark is out of bed in record time. He’s running down the hall and nearly slides into the wall on his socks. 

 

Donghyuck looks up from where he’s sitting at the island, just in time to see Mark nearly fall on his face. Good fucking god. 

 

“Hey.” He says dumbly, his throat feels thick. 

 

Donghyuck looks  _ good.  _ His hair is fluffy like he’s just showered and he’s wearing his white hoodie with the track pants he stole from Mark last year. He still hasn’t changed from his terrifyingly neutral facial expression. 

 

Jaehyun looks like he’d rather be anywhere but here. “Maybe you two should go to your room.” Jaehyun suggests. It’s so obvious he’s trying to save his own skin and Mark fights not to stick his tongue out or something equally as childish. 

 

Mark swallows. “Yeah, uh,  _ Yeah _ okay.” 

 

Donghyuck is out of his chair in a second surprising both Jaehyun and Mark. He grabs Mark by the wrist and starts pulling Mark down the hall with a nonchalant  _ thanks Jaehyun! _

 

Mark notes that he smells like pineapple and shampoo over the sound of his heart thumping against his sternum. 

 

Before he knows it Donghyuck is in his room and closing the door behind himself. 

 

They stare at each other for a moment. Mark is looking for ways that Donghyuck is different, looking for what made him so angry earlier but all he can see is Donghyuck in his familiar hoodie, surrounded by Mark’s things. He looks familiar. Mark misses him so fucking much.

 

“Don’t do this, Mark.” Donghyuck surprises the both of them by talking first and Mark is taken aback by how  _ undone  _ he sounds. 

 

“Don’t do what?” Mark trails off. 

 

“Don’t do nothing I don’t know. Just, say something. Do something this time.” 

 

“I’m into you,” Mark blurts. Then immediately feels his heart kickstart in his chest. He’s really doing this. “I’m so fucking into you and I think about that kiss last summer every day.” He doesn’t look at Donghyuck, scared that whatever he’ll see will stop him from doing this. “And you confuse me, so much. God, you’re so confusing. I just, I just want to tell you everything but you’re always running away and fooling around and I understand if you don’t want me that way but please stop running.” 

 

It’s quiet for a second, Mark feels his heart beat two-forty-six (Donghyuck’s silence makes him sick). 

 

“You’re the one always running,” Donghyuck speaks up, and Mark looks at him finally. He looks a little fragile against Mark’s door, shoulders caving in. 

 

“You never fight for me. I’m always waiting but you never fight for me. I try and try to convince myself that you just don’t remember the kiss and that you don’t want me that way but I see you get mad about all the boys and the days I leave and it makes me wonder. But you  _ never  _ fight for me.” 

 

His voice cracks like he’s about to cry and Mark is panicking, going to stand up but Donghyuck signals for him to freeze. 

 

“No stop, I’m, I’m not finished. That last game? When I was slashed you didn’t care about anything but winning. You couldn’t even see that I was hurt. I was benched in  _ your  _ last game. All I was to you was a penalty point. I never know what you want from me. At the game, you threw me away like dead weight and at the party, you were to busy getting into someone else’s pants to even realize it.”

 

Mark’s frozen, slushie blood shifting around in his veins. 

 

“I only mess around with those boys because they’ll do it and you won’t. I can see how disgusted you are by it and you know what? I don’t fucking care. You don’t get to be mad at me for kissing other boys when you’re too scared to even kiss me yourself.” 

 

Donghyuck is actually crying now and Mark knows he’s fucked up. In the dark of Mark’s room, the moon makes Donghyuck look ghostly, unreal. 

 

And so Mark finishes the last step and pulls Donghyuck into the shadow and against his body. Solid. He doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t need to yet. Donghyuck feels small against him. He’s trembling from where he’s tucked under Mark’s chin. 

 

He remembers wondering if it really was True Love with Donghyuck, and now looking back on it, it wasn’t. How could it be? He’d been selfish, all too easy to leave Donghyuck for dead and run for the hills when he got a chance. 

 

But holding Donghyuck to him now? He wants it to be. He wants it to be True Love. He wants to make it right. He wants to fight for him. He wants to open his Fucking eyes. 

 

He holds him even tighter then, kissing  _ i’m sorry _ ’s into the top of his head. He thumbs over the back of Donghyuck’s neck, just feeling him close. The way Donghyuck sinks into it makes Mark’s heart sag, like he hasn’t been hugged in years. 

 

“I’m not going away,” Mark tells him. “Not this time Hyuck. You’re my best friend before anything you know that right?” 

 

Donghyuck hiccups wetly into Mark’s throat in response. 

 

“We’re gonna make this right, Hyuck. No more running.” 

 

Then several things happen at once, firstly Donghyuck kisses Mark square on the mouth and shoves him flat on his back onto the bed. Then there are two hands on his shoulders and the warm weight of Donghyuck on top of him. Mark’s brain is ticking off all the right boxes for a fucking Aneurysm. 

 

It’s salty. Donghyuck tastes salty, his lips part open wet over Mark’s and Mother Mary this is so much different sober. For one, this time Mark has  _ some  _ idea what to do with his hands, he finds Donghyuck’s waist and squeezes, hard. Second, Donghyuck’s lips feel sticky and he can faintly taste something, like, tropical. There’s the breath from Donghyuck’s nose skirting over his top lip. It feels real, mind-fuckingly real. 

 

There are the embarrassing noises of their mouths moving together and Mark’s cupidity for More. He doesn’t need to ask because Donghyuck’s making this auspicious noise in his throat that Mark has a feeling this is going to become his new Achilles heel. Like a big ass billboard inside his heart that says: HAVE  YOU HEARD THE NEWS? DONGHYUCK IS HOT AND OUR KNEES ARE WEAK! COME GET A PIECE!

 

Six times Mark counts his heart skip. Once when Donghyuck kissed him first. Second when Donghyuck’s hands dip underneath Mark’s t-shirt, pressing into his abs. Third when his mouth opens and his thumb coaxes at Mark’s jaw to open up for him. Fourth when Donghyuck makes that  _ noise  _ against his tongue and Mark’s mind nearly blanks. Fifth when Donghyuck moves onto his throat, whispering  _ i missed you _ ’s,  _ i want you _ ’s, and  _ i love you _ ’s. Six when Mark realizes that every part of them is touching and Donghyuck isn’t going to disappear, he holds him closer. 

 

He’s about two skips from a goddamn heart attack. 

  
  
  
  


 

Later that night Jaehyun makes the mistake of opening Mark’s door without knocking (the first one they agreed never to speak about again and Jaehyun still can’t get the image out of his head). He shrieks this unearthly horrid noise and Mark takes his hands off Donghyuck’s bare thighs like a man burned. Donghyuck laughs and Mark thinks he can get used to this. (Not Jaehyun walking in on them, gag!)

  
  
  


The next day at practice is Probably Donghyuck’s best play played in the history of Lee Donghyuck. He’s cheeky, sly, and  _ fast.  _ Coach Moon eyes Mark for a second before shaking his head in an  _ i don’t want to know  _ sort of fashion and just accepting it. Everything fits into place, even if Donghyuck still takes him off guard occasionally, slapping his ass mid-play, or when switching jersey’s isn’t exactly the most romantic measure, seeing as how they have the same damn last name. 

 

Nah, when Donghyuck slams him into the lockers, followed up by a deceivingly sweet kiss before going Winner Takes All on Mark’s mouth; Mark decides that it’s worth it. After all, all is fair in love and Lee Donghyuck. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> hi! i made a new twt since my last one was deleted! follow me there for updates & shennanigans  
> [twt](https://twitter.com/crushcults) \+ [cc](https://curiouscat.me/crushcults)  
> kudos & comments mean a lot!


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